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Dork Side Of The Moon/Transcript
Abridged Episode #34 Watch ← Previous Episode → Next Episode Cast (in order of appearance): Yami, Joey, Serenity, Tristan, Téa, Marik, Bakura, Grandpa, Rare Hunters, Lumis and Umbra, Kaiba, Odion Ishtar Date: 28 February 2009 Running Time: 8:19 Episode Title: Dork Side of the Moon Transcript Credit Sequence YAMI: Yu-Gi-Oh: Abridged! We update almost as often as VG Cats. Train Station Joey: (talking to Serenity on the phone.) Hey, Serenity, guess what. The doctors told me your blindness subplot was only temporary after all. Because the writers want you to become a regular character. That means you're gonna be able to see again. Hospital Serenity: That's awesome, Joey! Train Station Joey: Hang in there sis. I'll have somebody stop by later to pick you up. Hospital Serenity: Please tell me it isn't going to be... Tristan: Hello, lover. Serenity: ...Tristan. Intro Sequence being sung by Littlekuriboh with beat boxing in the background Marik carrying an injured Bakura appears on screen. Téa: Oh my god, it's every fangirl's dream come true. Marik: Somebody call an ambulance! This limey need urgent medical assistance. Apparently he has Wanker's Cramp. Joey: Oh no! Bakura, speak to me! Bakura: Wanker's Cramp, the most deadly of British diseases! Grandpa: Don't worry, I'll take him to the hospital. Joey: Good idea. While you're at it you might wanna get that harpoon injury taken care of. Grandpa: What harpoon injury? Blood squirts on Joey's chin. Joey: Hey, innocent bystander, thanks for helping out our friend. Teà: May I just interject so that I can say huminu huminu huminu! Marik: Silence fools. I.. I mean you're welcome. (thinking) Excellent, my vague evil plan is going perfectly! Joey: You seem like a swell dude. What's your name, pal? Marik: (thinking) Crap in a bucket! I didn't plan for this! Think of a fake name, think of a fake name! Um, my name is uh, um, MMMMMMMMalik. Marik: Yeah, I get that a lot. Teà: Huminu huminu huminu! Marik: I also get that a lot. Joey: Malik, huh? That sound's kinda like Marik, the guy we're trying to defeat in this season. Marik: Those fools have no idea that it's really I the evil Marik Ishtar who plans to turn them against their best friend Yugi Motou so that I can rule the world. Joey: Malik, we can kinda hear everything your saying. Marik: Oh f*** it. Minions, beats their collective asses. Teà: Oh no! We're being attacked by Steves! edit! Joey: Man! I love a good 4Kids fight sequence. You can be as violent as you want so long as nobody sees what your doing. edit! Teà: Somehow I have been captured. edit is obvious! Joey: It is implied that I am being punched! Teà: Doesn't this sort of thing usually happen to Mokuba? Mokuba: I can't believe that I've almost gone an entire season without being kidnapped. Wait til Seto hears about this! Steves: Suprise! Mokuba: Oh me and my big adorable mouth! Umbra: Look at them Steve. They have no idea that we are flipping them off underneath out cloaks. Lumis: Yeah man! I'm doing it with both hands and they have no clue! Umbra: In fact, they do not even know we exist. Lumis: That's cause we're awesome. Umbra: Yes. Now behold as I swoop down apun them like a ninja and then proceed to rob them of all hope, again like a ninja. Lumis: Do it man! Kaiba: I still don't we why we couldn't take the Kaiba copter. You know how much I hate traveling by foot. Yami: Quit your eternal bitching fancy-pants. Umbra: Greetings Earthlings. Kaiba: Earthlings? Umbra: Bow down and worship your Digital Ruler Seto Kaiba. For we have kidnapped your next-of-kin. The Mokuba Kaiba. Kaiba: That figures... Mokuba: Whao! I think I'm going to throw up! Umbra: We also have your friends Joey and Teà. If you refuse to duel us on top of that huge-ass buildings their lives shall be forfeit. Do not keep us waiting for we get bored very easily. Kaiba: Couldn't he have just used the stairs like a normal person? I mean is it really that hard? Steve: Enjoy your new home girly. Teà: You Steves arn't going to get away with this! My boyfriend plays card games and he'll kick all your butts! Damn it! Every time I meet a guy he's either gay or a villain in disguise. Umbra: Prepare to face the wrath of your doom. Lumis: Yeah! You guys are going down! Umbra: Correct Steve. For in this duel the loser will face a one-way trip to the Shadow Realm, right through the ceiling. Lumis: Oooh what a feeling! When your falling through the ceiling! Umbra: As foretold by Lionable Richie. Lumis: Damn straight it was! Yami: Who the hell are you guys suppose to be anyway? Umbra: We are the Mooninites, and we are here to rob you of your Egyptian God Cards in the name of the moon. Lumis: Better recognize! Kaiba: You want my God Card? You'll have to pry it from my cold dead fingers! Stand back Yugi! I'm going to beat these guys with one hand tied behind my back. Yami: No Kaiba! You need me! Kaiba: I highly doubt that. Yami: Don't you get it Kaiba? This is the episode were we put aside our differences and work together to combine our strengths. Kaiba: This is sounding dangerously close to a slash fic. Yami: Look Kaiba, we probably hate each other about as much Komani hates Upperdeck. But unlike them we actually respect one another. So just this once lets duel as a team. Kaiba: Fine. Just so long as I don't have to draw a smily face on my hand or any of that b***t. Mokuba: Let me go you creeps! Ow! My adorable nose is shattered! Teà: Now to make my escape disguised as a simple card board box. Steve 1: Hey Steve, why's that girl wearing a card board box on her head? Steve 2: Beats me Steve. You wanna play Racketball later? Teà: Geez! How does Solid Snake always make it look so easy? Joey: Hey! What's the bid idea? Let me go you bid polluka! Odion: Certainly. But first we'd like to sign your name on this contract. Then you are free to do as you will. Joey: Fine. I'll sign your thing. But then you got to let me go okay? Marik: Now that Joey Wheeler has signed that binding contract he has unwittingly agreed to have his name legally changed to Steve. His mind is now mine to manipulate. Ah Hahaha! Joey: Nee? I will obay...master Malik... Marik: It's Marik you fool! Joey: Whatever... Umbra: You have no chance against our supreme decks for all of our monsters have been modified with power-boosting mask cards. Lumis: Smokin'! Umbra: On the moon we have evolved beyond your primitive Earth card games. A typical moon card game can take up to five Millennia. Yami: Actually, that's not much longer then our card games. Umbra: Shut up. Also, our card games take place in a zero gravity environment without any oxygen. The losers all die of asphyxiation. Lumis: Asphyxiation man! Umbra: That's what I said Steve. Asphyxiation. The winners also die. Kaiba: You guys are... Yami: Look at the size of that nose. It's like the animators didn't even care. Teà: Mokuba, you have to get out and warn the others about the army of Steves and their evil plot. Also, try and see if you can get Malik's phone number for me. Mokuba: Fat chance cootie breath. Steve 1: How the hell did that kid get past our defenses. Steve 2: He was wearing a bright yellow vest. You'd think we'd be able to stop him. Steve 3: Oh! We must be the worst Steves ever! Kaiba: After four grooling episodes I have at last summoned Obelisk the Tormentor. Yami: And it's all thanks to teamwork, right Kaiba? Kaiba: Save it Yugi! We both know I'm never going to beleive in that Heart of the Cards crap! At least not until the final episode anyway. Yami: Heart of the what now? Umbra: Your Obelisk the Tormentor is no match for our secret weapon: the quad-laser. Lumis: Suck on that nerds! Umbra: Firing in three, two, one. Quad-laser go! Behond and be transfixed by it's trajectory. Lumis: Yeah! Yami: Exactly how long is this going to take? Umbra: Just give it a minute. Soon it will connect with it's target. Lumis: Yeah! It'll go right up your butts! Umbra: I said what-what. Lumis: In the butt! Umbra: I said what-what. Kaiba: I've had it up to here with your nonsense! Obelisk! Attack their Life Points directly. Umbra: Impossible! Nothing can defeat the quad-laser and any attempts you make to do so will only serve to amuse us. Ah! Kaiba: Now we both only have six locator cards which us us in the finals. It's only a matter of time before we face off again in the duel arena Yugi. Yami: Yeah, the I'll get to kick your sorry but for about the fiftieth time. Sounds like fun. Kaiba: God you are so...idiot. Mokuba: Seto! Kaiba: Mokuba! I thought you were kidnapped! Mokuba: I managed to rescue myself and I flew all the way over here so we can go and save Yugi's friends. Kaiba: Mokuba! That's incredible! I'm genuinely impressed! For the first time in your life you've made me proud to call you my brother. Mokuba: Kay. Thanks. Yami: Let's go and save my friends. Kaiba: Oh god damn it! I wanted the window seat. wanker's cramp - know your limits! Yami: Leave Benny alone! She's a human! Umbra: I hope he can see this because I am doing it as hard as I can. Trivia Category:Abridged Transcripts